douche bag stories June 27, 2008

Douchebag at AA Bondy show

Snark is not a new pastime hobby; I’m not even sure if it’s necessarily on the rise, though the comment section of most blogs may make you think otherwise. For one thing, how can the witty (in my book the brightest) not have always turned to full-time mockery as a channel for expression only too fulfilling (especially if the others really are halfwits), second only to comedy, or maybe not even that. But my point is that when witty people do it, snark is highly entertaining and totally hip. I, however, have neither the wit nor the heart to attack people whose only fault is to love themselves (happy and confident people are often the subjects of cutting snide, aren’t they?). But! I am dying to talk about a real douchebag who grabbed me by the arm and yelled at me to stand up at tonight’s otherwise fun AA Bondy show at Union Hall. I hope you read on, and then tomorrow I’ll tell you all about how great AA was.

I had told Sam and Jill from AA Bondy’s label that I would try to post a video from today’s show (which I will if the audio isn’t all crap). So I had secured myself a spot at the stage’s left corner. That, however, put my ear so close to the big speaker that a high-pitched harmonica part felt like a piercing through my skull. The room was busy enough, but not overly crowded. Everyone had a comfortable space around them. I sat on the floor, since the sound from down there was so much more balanced and clear; and most importantly, a whole lot gentle on the ear. I suggested my sister sit down too since she was struggling with the big speaker piercing her left ear as well. The douchebag (nicely labelled for you) happened to be the guy standing next to us all this time. Slowly he starts inching in front of us, blocking my view. My sister rolls her eyes, I tell her he’s probably not aware. Then he puts his left leg on the stage (while Bondy’s still playing), blocking my view, and from the corner of my eye I notice he turns around and glares down at me, but I didn’t look. Then, he casually kicks his foot against my sister’s, though it looked like an accident, except: he followed it with another clear look, and instead of apologizing and removing his foot, he kept it right there, smashed against my sister’s, squeezing her two feet between mine and his. Then he starts shuffling and stepping on our feet quite freely. Then he moves to stand right in front of me. I tap on his leg but he doesn’t respond. My sister taps on his leg but he doesn’t respond. After the song finishes, I get up and tap him on the shoulder but he doesn’t respond. So I go in front of him ask if there was a problem. If I’m mistakenly bothering a nice, decent human being, I expect to be told what the problem is because a nice, decent human being will tell you in order to solve it. Was it bothering him that I had so far filmed one song and parts of others? If so, he didn’t mention it. Was it bothering him that we were sitting down (but why, there was plenty of space for everyone)? If so, he didn’t mention it. Instead, he gave me a blank face with a smirk and said: “Problem? What?” as if he’d no clue why I was even talking to him. I said, “yeah, why are you kicking us with your foot?” He laughs mockingly and says, “How can I kick you? I’m standing up, you’re sitting down”. I get flustered, and sit right back down. Then he yells at me, “Stand up! Stand up!” I say, I don’t want to stand up. He grabs my arm and yells, “Stand up!”

AA Bondy is not really rock-out dance music. It was a one-man show on acoustic guitar and harmonica. If everyone was dancing, I’d understand that people sitting would be quite intrusive, even then you don’t go around stepping on people intentionally.

Though I’m an especially short girl, the only reason I didn’t punch his face is because to make a scene so close to AA Bondy would’ve been just disrespectful. However, if you see that guy at another show and empathize with me, then please do punch him, that’s what the photo is for, keep it in your wallet. 

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