"That $2 was for your ass"
You know that website that’s going around that mocks hipster clothing? It’s not offensive at all, but neither is it funny (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is my gold standard for comedy), and nor is the mockery deserving. The more adventurous and expressive the clothing, the more colorful my world is as long as I don’t have to be the one wearing them, only because my taste is slightly different. But if a guy has a mohawk and it’s dyed pink, and his jeans are really skinny, is it really that funny? Does it really tickle your intellect? Secondly, who cares, why is it so terrible? With that said, here’s my own douche bag report. There is a notion amongst some assholes in New York City that when you pay the subway fare, you’re paying for the right to be seated, and that this is a right to be upheld against a toddler who by law can ride the subway for free.
There was a mother sitting across from us, who was just about to lift her kid out of the stroller and put her on the seat next to her, when a woman got on the subway and darted for that same seat. She tried squeezing herself past the stroller when the mother explained she was just about to plop her daughter there. At first it was semi-forgivable since it was difficult to immediately grasp that that’s what the mom was trying to do. But after the polite explanation, this woman started to rant about how she had paid $2 for the subway and the kid hadn’t, then she proceeded to squeeze herself in. There were technically 2 seats free there, though one was partially covered by other passengers, who shifted to make room. Both the woman and the child fit, after all. The mom responded that she had paid $2, too, to which the woman said, “That $2 was for your ass,”and the mom said, “Can you please not curse in front of the child?” After the woman continued to mumble, the mother pointed out that she was six months pregnant and with a kid, and that she wasn’t going to take any crap from her. I was plotting to somehow photograph this woman with the intention of blurring out her face, but I changed my mind when after the mother and the child got off, the woman continued bitching to another passenger about how she’d paid $2, etc. I’d thought that after the mom had revealed that she was six months pregnant, with a clearly bulging tummy, this woman must’ve felt some regret. She didn’t. She was telling some story about how she was sick, but there was a pack of Newport sticking out of her shirt pocket.
Coincidentally, one of the passengers who shifted to make room for the woman had this sticker on his suitcase.
Years ago, I witnessed another instance of a similar argument made against a mom with her toddler. The child was being difficult and the mother had just appeased her by placing her on the subway seat, when a woman got on and actually asked her to remove the child, with the same explanation that the child hadn’t paid for the subway. This mother was less feisty and placed her daughter on her lap, without saying anything at all. What’s worse, after this woman got her seat, she started reading her book of religion.
PS. Here’s my recap of The Tallest Man on Earth’s Bowery Ballroom show, over at the Tripwire.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Judging from the picture she should have paid at least $4 for her own ass.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:14 am
oh SNAP.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:20 am
My bummer subway story:
I was on the G going all the way to Fulton St. or something down the line a ways. My side of the car was mostly empty except for two guys and two ladies. One guy was by himself eating a sandwich and the other guy/ladies were friends. For apparently no reason, the threesome started teasing the sandwich guy a lot, and when he asked them to leave them alone, the tough guy started acting really angry and told him to give him his food. When sandwich guy refused to give up his sandwich, the tough guy told him to get out of his seat. The guy refused again, and it just kept going on and on.
Eventually, the tough guy started repeating that he was going to kill sandwich guy, and kept daring him to fight. Both women were laughing really awkwardly, like they knew it was fucked up but didn’t want to stop their friend. I was right next to this but they never said a thing to me. I decided to sit quiet unless it got physical, which it didn’t luckily. Sandwich guy got off at the same stop as me and appeared to be near tears. Worst train ride of my life.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:38 am
That reminds me another horror story on the G. There was an elderly Polish man in traditional Jewish clothing (presumably) sitting across from us. Some young girls got on, a pack of four, I think. They casually started addressing him, and the man, who looked like your typical and lovable wise old man, asked one of the girls, “Are you from Haiti?” It seemed like he was interested in her features, which were somewhat distinct. For whatever reason, the girls thought he was psychic, and decided that the correct response was to be terrified of this mystical man. They said “Are you psychic? How did you know I was from Haiti? What about she? Where is she from? Why are you looking at me like that? etc etc”. He remained quiet, probably regretting that he even decided to say anything. The girls decided they would make a scene and run screaming to the other end of the car, peeping at him, hiding from him, and shouting “Hitler! Hitler! Hitler!”
April 17th, 2009 at 6:41 am
but i suppose they can be forgiven since they were young (maybe 13-14). it was just too unfortunate, in any case.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:05 am
I used to have a female coworker whose pet peeve was guys who sat down and then spread their legs as wide as possible, taking up two or three seats in the process, no matter how crowded the car. Her response was to look right at their crotch and shout loudly, and I mean LOUDLY, “Look buddy, I know you’re packing, but it aint that big! Move your legs and let a sister sit down!” It almost always worked.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I can’t stand when people sit on the bump on the chair-seats on the train (as opposed to the long bench kind). It’s like they’re trying to give themselves a wedgie, which then gives me a mental wedgie. Am I the only one all bothered about this?
April 28th, 2009 at 5:03 am
And you did nothing, kevin?
I’d say the guilt spreads to you.
January 25th, 2011 at 5:51 am
This is why americans bother me (yes im an american) but ive been living in Japan for the last 2 years. Granted, you have some rude people, and there IS a certain train car for women only because men tend to be grabby during rush hour..but people get up for others, they move out of the way the most they can, they dont speak on the train because others are sleeping, or are pushed so closely to you, that talking would just be rude, cell phone usage is even banned. I just dont understand why we havent picked up this way of living in peace with each other. Everyone always thinks they deserve something. These people deserve a swift kick in the ass.